Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Randomize
