i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
