Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
