Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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