i think i have herpe
just one?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
