maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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