TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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