omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
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