My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Small penises have feelings too.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
