yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
