New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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