how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Randomize
