nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
