I must be too annoying 4 u.
I'm jealous of your bromance
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
