sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Actions speak louder than pants.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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