he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
