I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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