Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Randomize
