You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
