I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Reggie can tackle my bush.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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