I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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