So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize