i jhust puked up my retainher.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
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A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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