Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(856): View more from New Jersey

I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.

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(514): View more from Quebec

Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?

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(515): View more from Iowa

In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.

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(513): View more from Ohio

How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??

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(269): View more from Michigan

They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.

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(516): View more from New York

This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess

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(330): View more from Ohio

So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?

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