please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
3 2 1 whiskey
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
