He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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