Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
