Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I wannas sexs uuuuu
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
