those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
