That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
