I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
