i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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