I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
