So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Randomize
