I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
