guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
He did a backflip because drugs
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