i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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