Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
We got so high we made milksteak
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Randomize
