Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
