I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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