So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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