She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
