Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
