ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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