why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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