If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
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There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize