We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
