Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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