the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
