Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
