I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
