Everything about him screamed your future.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
