i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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