Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
My cat gives me a boner
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
