Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
