I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
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I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
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What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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