i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
