im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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